TORONTO – Local man Mark Williamson has found the courage within himself to admit that, despite his previous claims, William Nylander is actually one of the best players on the Maple Leafs.
“There is more honour in admitting a mistake than defending it,” said Williamson. “And that is why I fully retract my near decade long stance that William Nylander is a soft pretty-boy who the Leafs should trade for a back-up goalie and shot blocking D man.”
“It takes a brave man to acknowledge that a guy near the top of league scoring should be re-signed. And I am that brave man.”
Williamson has spent much of the past few years vehemently arguing that Nylander is emblematic of a lazy, grit-less Leafs style of play that has seen them struggle in the playoffs. But after much soul-searching, inner reflection, and watching him score an end-to-end OT winner against the Wild, he has realized that perhaps he judged too harshly.
“I was wrong. My hatred blinded me. Created a situation where every mistake was magnified in my mind. Every success explained away. I don’t know why I was so cruel to young William and though I know he never saw my tweets calling him a “preening wannabee who wouldn’t know what a backcheck was if it came with a tub of hair gel,” I still want to offer my apologies. If he re-signs I promise to never speak about him so cruelly.”
“Now Marner on the other hand? What a bum. Be lucky if we can get a third round pick and a case of Labatts for him.”
