NATIONWIDE – Canadian heroes Vaccine Hunters Canada have changed their twitter mission, this time in search of PlayStation 5s.
“Vaccine Hunters Canada was born out of an urgent need to provide Canadians with necessary, life-saving products,” says spokesperson Stuart Aarons. “This is the exact same thing.”
The move came as a surprise to Vax Hunters’ legions of followers, who assumed the group had pivoted to assist Canadians in locating a booster shot.
“Look, we already tried getting everyone vaccinated, and we took that ball as far as we could,” says Aarons, vaguely gesturing at the chaotic world around him. “So we shifted to an equally vital task: getting Canadians prepared to spend the inevitable next lockdown at home with new game consoles.”
“Especially in time for Elden Ring,” Aarons added.
When asked if Vaccine Hunters would consider rebranding to reflect the organization’s new direction, Aarons responded, “We tried that, but as soon as we mentioned video games in our title, all our female staff members received death threats.”
PS5s have been in short supply due to a combination of the ongoing chip shortage, supply chain issues, and the fact that we can’t have nice things. Whenever a random store, website, or pharmacy is able to get some consoles in stock, Vaccine Hunters tweets the details out so anyone lucky enough to be doom-scrolling at that exact moment can hopefully snag one.
“I’ve run down to Best Buy five times this week alone,” says follower PfizerBabe355. “No PS5 yet, but at least I’m getting my steps in.”
Those hoping to snag a PS5 can follow Vaccine Hunters on Twitter, as well as Instagram, Discord, TikTok, and every gamer’s favourite communication outlet, live chat with random strangers. Vaccine Hunters aims to replace all previous means of finding a PS5, which include manifesting its presence, summoning a demon, or performing a ritual sacrifice beneath the waning moon.
At press time, everyone had given up on getting a PS5 because the PS6 came out.