VANCOUVER – Researchers at the University of British Columbia Faculty of Science report that the only thing that loves you without question feels the same way about tonguing its tuchus. The…
Tag: Dog
Fluffy dog forced to wear fall sweater is fucking burning up
CALGARY – Despite the unseasonably warm fall weather rolling through Western Canada, 4-year-old Pomeranian mix Sandy has been dressed in a sweater simply because it’s ‘just so dang adorable…
Dog tied up outside of store for three minutes sets new world record for sadness
VANCOUVER — The look on the face of Tony, a young bulldog tied to a parking meter outside Denman Liquor, has set the Guinness World Record for sheer, profound, heart-wrenching sadness. “I don’t u…
STUDY: 50% of home workouts spent telling dog to go lie down
HAMILTON, ON – According to a new study from McMaster University, half of all home exercise is begging the family dog to leave you alone while you still have the will to move. One particip…
Dog stops doing something funny, forcing local family to talk to each other
LETHBRIDGE, AB – Reports indicate the Roche family’s 8 year old labradoodle Trevor recently, stopped walking around with a blanket on his head, forcing the family to actually learn ab…
Generations of selective breeding produce this fucking asshole
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Man daydreams of being rich person’s dog for 5th time today
TORONTO – Local man, Andrew Tan, has spent a lot of time lately thinking how great it would be to be a rich person’s dog instead of a human male forced to make his life fulfilling. “I’ve be…
Family in silent pact to ignore dog’s obvious erection
LETHBRIDGE, AB – Reports indicate that the Miller family’s board game night has been interrupted by their English bulldog Snoodles, who has a glaringly obvious erection no one wants to acknowledg…
Rescue dog unable to save failing relationship
Hamilton, ON – Jane Rogers and Eric Salts recently discovered that adopting a six-year-old rescue dog was not enough to put off the ending of their four-year relationship. The couple, who a…
Canada Post-Punk claims mail’s not dead
REGINA – Despite claims that physical mail has been declining and gone to the wayside the past two decades, a local Canada Post-Punk rebukes the notion, and states that mail’s not dead. “Li…