Memorial University of Newfoundland: University Reviews 2013
Name: Memorial University of Newfoundland Nickname: “Ol’ Technically Part of Canada” Motto: “G’wan wich ya! She’s some lop on da pond dere, buddy what?” History: Founded in 1925 by J.L Paton as …
Blackberry announces new CEO by a lake of singing swans
WATERLOO – In front of a pristine lake populated by mute swans, Blackberry’s most senior downtrodden executives introduced John Chen as the company’s new CEO. “We thought the backdrop of the lake…
UbiSoft Montreal spent $373M to update axes in Assassin’s Creed Black Flag
MONTREAL– The Assassin’s Creed video game received a massive update on their inventory of axes as UbiSoft Montreal invested all of their recent $373M on the one thing they do well. …
November to become Female Pubic Hair Appreciation Month
VICTORIA – A new charity, Novembeaver, is looking to draw awareness to ovarian cancer research with women being encouraged to grow out their pubic hair for charity. “We like to think …
Queen’s University: The Beaverton University Reviews
Name: Queen’s University Nickname: Ol’ Money, Ol’ Problems Motto: “We go to Queen’s, do you?” History: Founded in 1841 in honour of Queen Victoria’s money, Queen’s University was the…
Rob Ford: ‘In drunken stupor, I once tried being mayor’
TORONTO – At a scrum in front of his office, Toronto mayor Rob Ford admitted that a year ago, in one of his drunken stupors, he may have tried municipal politics. Ford’s erratic behaviour, …
Report: Neither man willing to admit high-five was too hard
KAMLOOPS, BC – In celebration of a small pay raise two men engaged in a high-five that neither of them are willing to admit was extremely painful and possibly permanently damaging. “H…
Study: 100% of restaurants know you’re ordering the second cheapest wine on a first date
NEW YORK – It’s your first date, you’ve dressed up, thought of nonchalantly witty things to say, and, according to a new report from the Center for Mating and Hospitality, you’re about to o…
BREAKING – Police recover video of Vancouver Mayor smoking what appears to be salmon
VANCOUVER – Following months of speculation, Vancouver Police Chief Jim Chu held a press conference today where he confirmed the existence of a cell phone video taken months ago, on which V…
University of Toronto: The Beaverton University Reviews
Name: University of Toronto Nickname: Ol’ Monolithic Motto: “Hocne nos facit dignando?” (“Does this make us look prestigious?”) History: The UofT was founded in 1827 by study-drug enthusiast Bish…