The Beaverton

I’m not the fucking Science Guy, you fucks

BY BILL NIGHY Every time I tell them my name at Starbucks, the cashier seems to feel the need to ask me, “Oh, like the science guy?” Ha ha. Well. Take a good fucking look at my last name you shit…

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Report: Girlfriend still crying

A new report from behind the bathroom door has confirmed that yes, your girlfriend is still crying because of that thing you know you said and no, she won’t be stopping anytime soon. Confidential…

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