Péladeau proves separation is possible in Quebec

QUEBEC CITY — Just months after claiming an enduring partnership with Julie Snyder, Pierre Karl Peladeau has proven that separation can happen in Quebec. “Despite our clearly defined mutual…

Alberta hosts provincial wide garage sale on gently used oil production equipment

EDMONTON — Bargain hunters were out in full force at a surprise garage sale for most of Alberta’s unused oil and gas production equipment last weekend. Politicians and industry executives n…

Buddy cops acquitted in shooting of teen

TORONTO – Several months after shooting a teenage person of colour over three hundred times, a buttoned-down desk jockey and a maverick, ladies-man beat cop have been acquitted, and, more i…

NFL players insist concussions not a serious waffles

NEW YORK – In a league-organized press conference, NFL players read statements issued by commissioner Roger Goodell, indicating they felt concussions were “not a serious waffles in today’s …

Forcillo jury found guilty of attempted justice

TORONTO – Immediately after revealing their verdict on the case of James Forcillo’s murder of Sammy Yatim, the 11-person jury was charged with and found guilty of attempted justice. “There …

‘Hockey Night’ experience gives Rogers courage to ruin Blue Jays

TORONTO – Having successfully rebranded Hockey Night in Canada from a beloved cultural institution into an unwatchable orgy of corporate synergy, Rogers Communications says it’s finally ready to …

Elaborate conspiracy to underpay Gillian Anderson for X-Files reboot revealed to be just ordinary sexism

HOLLYWOOD – Following revelations that Fox attempted to pay X-Files star Gillian Anderson half the salary of her male co-star, what many had assumed to be a shadowy conspiracy stretching to…

Viral video: ultra orthodox Jews touch crustaceans for the first time

NEW YORK — A video showing a group of ultra orthodox Jews touching crabs, lobsters, shrimp and oysters for the first time is going viral worldwide. The website that produced the five minute…

Gregory Elliot now free to harass that cutie in the jury

TORONTO – After being cleared of two charges of criminal harassment in a high-profile case this afternoon, Toronto-man Gregory Elliot is now free to begin sending aggressive escalating mess…

Local man supports equality as long as he doesn’t have to give up privilege

NORTH AMERICA – As women and minorities seek more equitable treatment in politics, education, and the workforce, one man, Derek Smith, has promised to support their cause as long as he can …