Trump appoints Hurricane Harvey head of FEMA
HOUSTON — President Donald Trump has shocked Washington insiders by naming the Category 4 storm currently battering Houston as his head of the disaster relief agency FEMA. At 9:45pm Sunday …
NDP Leadership Ads: Jagmeet Singh
Our #sponsoredcontent NDP leadership ads kick off with Jagmeet Singh, the candidate who is definitely not just another Justin Trudeau.…
US Open begins with ceremonial janitor throwing tennis balls off the roof
NEW YORK CITY – Marking the start of the US Open, tens of thousands gathered outside the USTA Billie Jean King National Tennis Center Sunday evening to witness the ceremonial janitor throwi…
Get rid of the toxic people in your life by unfriending all the people who post about how to get rid of all the toxic people in your life
We’ve all been there: you wake up one day and see that one of your Facebook friends posted an article from Thought Catalog about 13 things narcissists and sociopaths do to make you sneeze uncontr…
Whitehorse RCMP riot squad deployed to Save-On-Foods opening to quell artisanal bread-related violence
WHITEHORSE – Two dozen RCMP officers wearing heavy riot gear were deployed to the bakery section of the newly opened Save-On-Foods after shoppers became violent over their claims to the las…
Yuppie rat colonies continue gentrification of lower income sewers
TORONTO – As part of Toronto’s continuing trend of gentrification, rats from Rosedale, Forest Hill, and other affluent neighbourhoods have begun colonizing lower income areas througho…
George R.R. Martin stoked to find out how Game of Thrones ends
NEW MEXICO – In a statement given to reporters ahead of the seventh season finale of hit HBO show Game of Thrones, George R. R. Martin (author of the unfinished book series it is based upon…
Vacation that was 90% eating best two weeks of couple’s relationship
BERMUDA – Reports late last night confirm that the two-week cruise taken by Calgary couple Kyle and Maria Thompson which consisted almost entirely of eating was “the best two weeks of our l…
86% of August e-mail traffic just duelling Out-Of-Office messages
TORONTO – Statistics Canada reported today that roughly 9 out of 10 emails sent during August were out of office messages. Out-Of-Office-Traffic (OOOT) spikes are expected in summer as workers fo…
Interracial couple so pleased you interrupted their dinner to call them beautiful
OTTAWA — Following a pleasant date night at their favourite local restaurant, interracial couple Scott Walters and Tara Miller wanted to say how delighted they are that you interrupted their dinn…
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