Man who records his refusal to wear a mask determined to turn local humiliation global
KINGSTON, ON – After being politely asked to comply with public health mandates to wear a mask at local establishments during a global pandemic, local man Clarence Heart pulled out his phon…
“COVID barely kills anyone,” says man who would probably be pretty annoyed if we killed him
TORONTO – A man protesting lockdown and mask measures has made the point that very few people will actually die of COVID-19 despite the fact that he would probably be at least a little piss…
Employee’s Zoom backgrounds more creative than his last 40 ideas
TORONTO – Local office worker Harvey Bibby surprised co-workers in virtual meetings this week with a series of marvelous Zoom meeting backgrounds, each more creative than the last, while contribu…
Saskatchewan man keeps reminding people that CFL season was postponed too
REGINA – Amidst conversations about the NHL, NBA and MLB seasons possibly resuming soon, local man Gord Marsh is reminding people that the CFL season was also postponed as a result of COVID…
Doug Ford extends emergency orders until end of his term
QUEEN’S PARK – In an effort to improve his public image, Ontario Premier Doug Ford has extended the emergency orders placed on the province for exactly however long the remainder of h…
Medusa makes more statues of racists to replace old statues of racists
SARPEDON – In a controversial move that has confused and angered people from all over the political spectrum, the Greek mythological figure Medusa has been replacing recently removed statue…
Terrified mask escapes Scheer’s face
TORONTO – A shocked and frightened face mask has escaped Conservative Leader Andrew Scheer’s face after the traumatic experience of having to listen to what the opposition leader says. The …
Local ally imagines how proud his Black friends would be about this social media post if he had any
Lethbridge, AB – Local white man Jeffrey Travers is having the time of his life imagining all the praise he would receive from his imaginary Black friends for his pro-Black Lives Matter soc…
Ennio Morricone Passes Away in Prolonged Standoff
AMERICAN WILD WEST – Award-winning composer of The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly Ennio Morricone was found dead last night during a Mexican Standoff in a Civil War Graveyard. Prior to his p…
