The Beaverton

Answering your questions about the Ostrich story your uncle won’t stop posting about

Conservative MP thinking of crossing floor wakes up with severed head of a John A. Macdonald statue in his bed

Mark Carney giving a speech in front of Canadian flags

Carney reduces Trudeau’s tree planting program from 2 billion trees to 2

Nation’s therapists know what they’re going to be talking about this week

Rogers execs on Sportsnet+ World Series crash: “You can’t expect a streaming service that only costs $30 a month to work every time”

Canada cool with one group of temporary foreign workers

This baby born in quarantine is 38 now

TORONTO – Local baby, Richard Henderson, born shortly after the first Ontario COVID-19 shutdown, just celebrated his 38th birthday. Henderson, who now suffers from male pattern baldness and…

Mars rover fined for non-essential travel

SACRAMENTO, CA – California Governor Gavin Newsom announced yesterday that the Mars Rover, Perseverance, was going to have to pay a significant fine for breaking the COVID-19 rules on non-e…

Ted Cruz latest Canadian politician caught fleeing to Mexico

Cancun, Mexico – Ted Cruz has joined the ranks of other Canadian politicians fleeing the country when things get rough. The Canadian politician, who is an avid denier of climate change, fle…

Ominous ‘Family Meeting’ invite implies someone either died or wants to play Scrabble

MEDICINE HAT, AB – A vague Google Calendar invite has left Emily Kidd worried that her family has either suffered a horrible tragedy or, even worse, wants to spend the whole evening playing Scrab…

OPINION: The only thing better than a good comic book movie is watching different recuts of a bad comic book movie over and over again until I die

By Zack Snyder I’m what you might call a renaissance man. I love comics and movies, so much so that I insist on drawing the entire third act of all of my comic films digitally in post. Good comic…