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TORONTO – Local baby, Richard Henderson, born shortly after the first Ontario COVID-19 shutdown, just celebrated his 38th birthday. Henderson, who now suffers from male pattern baldness and…
Mars rover fined for non-essential travel
SACRAMENTO, CA – California Governor Gavin Newsom announced yesterday that the Mars Rover, Perseverance, was going to have to pay a significant fine for breaking the COVID-19 rules on non-e…
Ted Cruz latest Canadian politician caught fleeing to Mexico
Cancun, Mexico – Ted Cruz has joined the ranks of other Canadian politicians fleeing the country when things get rough. The Canadian politician, who is an avid denier of climate change, fle…
Ominous ‘Family Meeting’ invite implies someone either died or wants to play Scrabble
MEDICINE HAT, AB – A vague Google Calendar invite has left Emily Kidd worried that her family has either suffered a horrible tragedy or, even worse, wants to spend the whole evening playing Scrab…
OPINION: The only thing better than a good comic book movie is watching different recuts of a bad comic book movie over and over again until I die
By Zack Snyder I’m what you might call a renaissance man. I love comics and movies, so much so that I insist on drawing the entire third act of all of my comic films digitally in post. Good comic…
Nation grateful Rush Limbaugh lived long enough to see Trump lose
OTTAWA – The nation mourned the passing of legendary broadcaster and Conservative provocateur Rush Limbaugh today, but took some comfort in the fact that he saw the human embodiment of his …
Rush Limbaugh slams Satan for his liberal bias
ETERNAL FLAMING REALM OF HELL – Having recently passed away from lung cancer, Rush Limbaugh, upon arriving in Satan’s land of eternal punishment, immediately lambasted the Prince of D…
Doug Ford sets up snitch line for parents who taught kids Sex Ed during lockdown
TORONTO – With the remaining Ontario schools finally open again, Premier Doug Ford is determined to ensure a safe return to the classroom – by setting up a snitch line for heathen parents who tau…
Father giving up on son for Lent
VANCOUVER – Local father James Hanover made a surprise statement on the car ride home from Ash Wednesday church service, announcing that for Lent this year he would be giving up on his elde…
Man storming Canadian capital in buffalo horns turns out to be actual buffalo
OTTAWA – The RCMP are reassuring Canadians that a man in buffalo horns seen storming the Canadian capital earlier this month was not in fact a right-wing insurrectionist, but an actual buff…




















