Page 190 – The Beaverton

37-year-old leaping into pile of leaves revels in crisp crackling sound of own joints

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Reports circulate about Toronto having some kind of mayoral election

TORONTO – Unsubstantiated reports have begun to circulate throughout the metro area that some kind of municipal election may be taking place, quite possibly right under residents’ noses. “I keep...

This episode of Family Feud Canada features cast of two more CBC shows you won’t watch

TORONTO – Hold on to your hats Canada, this latest season of Family Feud Canada you won’t watch is kicking off with a special all-star episode featuring the cast of two more CBC shows you won’t ...

Danielle Smith graciously admits that genocide might be as bad as antivaxxers not getting to go to the movies

EDMONTON – Danielle Smith made international headlines during her first day as premier of Alberta by claiming that the unvaccinated are the most discriminated-against group she’d ever seen, but ...

Out of respect to victims’ families, Ryan Murphy to donate portion of Dahmer profits to anyone who ever watched Glee

LOS ANGELES – In response to criticism of insensitivity toward victims, Dahmer showrunner Ryan Murphy has vowed to donate a portion of his series profits to anyone who ever watched Glee. “I see now th...

Alberta Tories excuse Danielle Smith’s ignorance of history by reminding us she is a product of the education system they built

EDMONTON – After Alberta’s Premier-designate, Danielle Smith, called unvaccinated people “the most discriminated group that I’ve ever witnessed,” members of her United Conserva...