GENEVA – Following reports of sustained violence and the rise of dangerous militant and political groups, the United Nations is allocating 40,000 peacekeepers to the US in an attempt to mai…
World
Ben Carson calls for submarines to be stationed along entire U.S. Canadian border
LAS VEGAS – Republican presidential candidate Dr. Ben Carson has publicly demanded that the US-Canadian border be secured by stationing US Navy submarines along its entire stretch. “We need to de…
Beijing’s smog warnings difficult to see through smog
BEIJING — In the wake of Beijing’s first ever “Red Alert” air pollution advisory, a new poll suggests that a significant fraction of the city’s residents have been unable to see the governm…
Justin Trudeau demands ISIS reduce greenhouse gas emissions by 20%
PARIS – In an impassioned speech at the Paris Climate Summit on Tuesday, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau issued a public demand that the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS) immediately take step…
Cruise ship E-Coli eagerly awaiting upcoming trip to Spokane
A colony of E-Coli bacteria, which resides aboard the Carnival Majesty ocean-liner in the Western Caribbean Sea, is anxiously looking forward to its vacation to Spokane, Washington aboard the S.S…
Russia-Turkey missile-for-warplane trade deal goes horribly wrong
ANKARA — A military equipment trade deal between Russia and Turkey ended in tragedy after Turkey delivered several air-to-air missiles directly to a Russian warplane causing a sudden explos…
Hipster alien only does artisanal crop ovals
NEW MEXICO – Resident alien Credacorh Zaph has become disaffected by the mass production of crop circles over the last few decades and has turned his back on them in favour of roughly hewn but lo…
Benjamin Netanyahu claims Hitler was ‘just following orders’
JERUSALEM – At a meeting of the World Zionist Congress in Jerusalem this week, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu claimed that Adolf Hitler was ‘just following orders’ from Haj Amin al-Hus…
Lancaster bomber annihilates Berlin for old time sake
YORKSHIRE, UK — An iconic World War II bomber has brought back many old memories after it dropped a 14,000 lbs payload of incendiaries and high explosives over Germany’s capital some 70 yea…
Queen Elizabeth II officially England’s longest-serving welfare recipient
LONDON, UK – Queen Elizabeth II is now officially England’s longest serving drain of public funds, celebrating her 23,226th day as Britain’s reigning welfare recipient. “Her Majesty is living pro…
