WASHINGTON — The US Supreme Court has struck down the Environmental Protection Agency’s (EPA) ability to limit greenhouse pollution from power plants, arguing that protecting the environment does…
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Excited Democrats speculate that if Republicans strip 1 or 2 more fundamental rights away, they might win the midterms
WASHINGTON D.C. – In the wake of the Supreme Court’s ruling overturning Roe v. Wade and Republican states taking immediate measures to ban abortion and force women to give birth, a bo…
US Supreme Court rules women have no right to abortion because fetus could grow up to be gun owner
WASHINGTON D.C. – In a 5-4 decision the U.S. Supreme Court reversed Roe v. Wade yesterday, holding that women could not be allowed to have abortions because some of the babies would likely …
All guns reclassified as Chekhov’s guns
OTTAWA – Following a new survey that found that 99.9% of firearms turn out to be important to the plot, the Federal government has issued a nationwide reclassification of all privately owne…
Uvalde police promise that with more funding they will be able to wait even longer in parking lots
UVALDE, TX – Following revelations that police in Uvalde, Texas waited up to an hour in a parking lot outside Robb Elementary before attempting to stop the shooter inside, police department…
Countries outside U.S. mark another day without action movies, violent video games or mental illness
LONDON – The countries of the world (except America) enjoyed another day without a mass shooting, a fact entirely attributable to the reality that nowhere but the U.S.A. do people watch act…
Republicans relieved no fetuses killed in Texas school shooting
Uvalde, TX – A wave of relief washed over the Republican party today as they learned no fetuses were harmed in yesterday’s shootings at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas. “Thank God,”…
Editorial: Having the right to control your own body taken away is no reason to be rude!
By: James Kulenschmidt Ladies, I get it. You don’t like the leaked U.S. Supreme Court decision overturning Roe v. Wade. You think you should have the right to control your own reproductive …
US Supreme Court celebrates Mandatory Mother’s Day
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The US Supreme Court will mark Mandatory Mother’s Day in light of their recent draft decision to overturn Roe v. Wade. Six members of the court thanked moms everywhere fr…
Samuel Alito cringes at typo in leaked draft accidentally referring to women as “people”
WASHINGTON D.C. – Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito has expressed frustration at an error in his leaked opinion on a pivotal abortion rights case in which he erroneously referred to women …