Business Archives - Page 16 of 47

Pizza Pizza to start delivering gross slice you only buy because it’s 2am and you’re drunk

TORONTO – With COVID restrictions cutting into their customer base of ‘people who wandered in drunk because they recognized the orange sign’ Pizza Pizza has announced that they …

MEC reassures customers they’ll still charge $800 per sleeping bag

VANCOUVER – Leadership at the Mountain Equipment Co-op have reassured members that, despite being sold to a US investment firm, they will still charge $800 for a sleeping bag you’ll never u…

Restaurants require female servers to wear skimpier face masks

TORONTO – Restaurants across the GTA are enforcing a new dress code on its female servers obliging them to wear face masks that are tighter and reveal more skin. The new “face thongs” revea…

Single-ply toilet paper industry saved by school re-openings

WINNIPEG – After being dealt a blow by the pandemic-related closures of offices and public washrooms, single-ply toilet paper manufacturers are pinning their recovery to the re-opening of t…

Tooth Fairy e-transfers kid in quarantine 25 cents

PICKERING – The Tooth Fairy, unable to be physically present to exchange baby teeth for loose change due to COVID protocols, has instead sent an e-transfer of 25 cents to Billy McIntosh, ag…

Companies furious employees choosing CERB over work briefly consider paying more

TORONTO – Companies outraged that employees would choose to take the $2,000.00 Emergency Response Benefit over returning to work 40-50 hours per week in the midst of a pandemic briefly cons…

Airline will no longer refund ticket holders whose lovers run to the airport last minute, with a change of heart, asking them not to get on flight

PEARSON AIRPORT – Air Canada has announced they will no longer honour refunds from ticket holders whose lovers propose to them at the airport last minute and then plead for them to not get on the…