BASTROP, TEXAS – Following a controversial week on X when the site’s AI, Grok, repeatedly made antisemitic statements and claimed to be MechaHitler, X has assured its users that they’ve fix…
Alberta full of measles, and after the Calgary Stampede, also chlamydia
CALGARY, AB – A raucous weekend at the Calgary Stampede has left local hospitals, already dealing with a rash of measles cases, further scrambling to deal with an influx of residents and to…
Blue Jays announce giveaway where first 15,000 fans get a family doctor
TORONTO – In an effort to sell tickets to baseball games, Blue Jays team president Mark Shapiro has announced a new giveaway where the first 15,000 fans who enter the Rogers Centre during an upco…
Carney fights off harsh U.S. authoritarianism with slightly gentler Canadian authoritarianism
OTTAWA — As Americans face the horror of U.S. troops being deployed to American cities on the orders of President Donald Trump to break up peaceful protests, the Canadian government under Prime M…
Canada Post counters union negotiations, asking workers to split the bill on billion dollar deficit
OTTAWA – Negotiators for the Canadian Union of Postal Workers were reportedly speechless following the latest proposal from Canada Post: that all employees kick in to help cover last year…
Trump forgets instructions to not mention Canada again until future governor Poilievre has won election
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Earlier this week, U.S. President Donald Trump was unable to remember the explicit instructions he was given to stop talking about Canada in order to help the man he’s ta…
Bonhomme beheaded in tragic “Elbows Up” incident
QUÉBEC CITY, QC – Authorities are devastated to report that Bonhomme Carnaval, beloved snowman and symbol of Québécois pride, was beheaded at a Liberal rally this week following an order fr…
We tried to write a debate analysis, but Jagmeet Singh kept interrupting us
MONTREAL – Despite efforts to reflect on the federal leaders debate for the 2025 election, any analysis was cut short due to repeated interruptions from NDP Leader Jagmeet Singh. The debate…
The Beaverton demands same debate invitation as The Rebel, even though we’re not as big a joke
by The Beaverton Editorial Board There are times when journalists of principle must raise their voices to stand up for what is right. This is not one of those times. There are also times when a m…
Rogers CEO says joy of torturing Canadians with garbage hockey broadcast worth way more than 11 billion dollars
TORONTO – One week after signing a 12 year deal for NHL broadcasting rights that cost twice as much as their last deal, Rogers CEO Tony Staffieri said the deal is an investment in the compa…