TORONTO — Young married couple Travis and Jessica Kirkman report managing to hide their secret desire for a Toronto housing market implosion from the home-owning guests at a recent housewar…
Trump fires teenagers investigating his old haunted amusement park
ATLANTIC CITY — While investigating a reportedly-haunted amusement park, four local teen sleuths and their crime-solving great dane had their case halted by an unlikely source: current Pres…
Toronto Police demand to know why LGBTQ community not investigating, solving more homicides
TORONTO — Following the arrest of alleged serial killer Bruce MacArthur, Police Service Chief Mark Saunders have declared Toronto’s entire LGBTQ community “on thin ice” for failing to arres…
Trump dismisses closed door president-for-life comments as ‘just locker room fascism’
WASHINGTON D.C. — After being secretly recorded praising China’s President Xi Jinping for ending term limits, President Trump dismissed his autocratic comments as just “regular locker…
Declining attendance leads Catholic Church to perform ‘ambush baptisms’
VATICAN CITY – In an effort to combat plummeting Catholic numbers, Pope Francis has okayed a program of ‘ambush baptisms’ to boost the church’s membership. “Let’s face it, between Vatican I…
Rebel Media asks viewers to place retirement savings into ‘Rebel Ponzi Scheme’
TORONTO – Controversial media website The Rebel has unveiled a new investment opportunity for its viewers: Canada’s first conservative-only ponzi scheme. The “Rebel Freedom Scam” promises s…
Patrick Brown drops out of PC race to plan next re-entry to PC race
BARRIE – Embattled former Ontario Progressive Conservative leader Patrick Brown has suspended his campaign for party leader, in order to spend more time planning his upcoming campaign for p…
NRA loses sponsorship deal with Henderson’s Child-Sized Coffins
FAIRFAX, VA — In the wake of the Parkland, FL school shooting and subsequent public outcry, the NRA has lost several major sponsors including their latest: Henderson’s Child-Sized Coffins. …
Trump insists only way to stop a bad mentally ill guy with a gun is a good mentally ill guy with a gun
Parkland, Florida – While visiting with survivors of the tragic school shooting in Florida, President Trump refused to call for gun control, and instead assured Americans, “the only thing t…
Declassified memo alleges FBI investigated Trump Campaign just because they did a bunch of crimes
WASHINGTON DC — A bombshell memo written by the House Intelligence Chair alleges the FBI opened an investigation into Trump Campaign officials based solely on the fact they done an absurd a…
