OTTAWA – In another parliamentary upset for Pierre Poilievre’s Conservatives, Edmonton MP Matt Jeneroux crossed the floor to the Liberals this morning after revealing that he was too intimidated by Poilievre’s recent workout video to continue working alongside him.
“I had no intention of joining Mark Carney’s Liberal party until I saw that 30-second clip on Twitter of Pierre hurling kettlebells around and doing jumpsquats with weights,” Jeneroux stated in a post-announcement press conference. “At that point I thought, ‘there’s no way can I stand next to that chiseled conservative adonis’.”
“Even during the times he kinda looked like he was gonna pass out and fall over, it was still the most raw alpha masculine thing I’d ever seen,” Jeneroux added.
Jeneroux gestured to Mark Carney, who was standing next to him looking like he’d never even heard of a burpee. “Now, THIS guy looks like he spends all his time at the bank. I doubt he can even spell ‘elliptical’. I might be betraying my constituents and everything I previously stood for, but at least I won’t wake up every day worrying that my boss is gonna challenge me to a push-up competition in a cottage with weirdly dim lighting.”
When contacted for comment, an angry Poilievre just said, “Watch what I can do,” and held a plank until he puked.
In a related story, Jeneroux is “pretty sure” he mentioned crossing floor to Liberals during his 2026 election campaign.
