Study: Best way to get rid of a body is to check it as luggage with Air Canada - The Beaverton
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Study: Best way to get rid of a body is to check it as luggage with Air Canada

TORONTO – A new study has revealed that the best way to get rid of an unwanted cadaver is to carefully pack it into a suitcase and check it as luggage with at a local airport.

“Checking in bodies with Canada’s largest air carrier is the most convenient way to get rid of unwanted contents and move on with you life,” said a local organized crime syndicate who conducted the study. “The evidence will be sent to another airport whether it be Mexico, Paris, or Whitehorse. You’re never going to see it again!”

Tracking the location of the in-flight luggage is next to impossible given the mysterious route changes and cancelled flights.

The report also outlined how Air Canada employees will keep quiet and only give non-answers, or blame other air carriers for the body.