Whitby, ON – Local father Winston Brown, who has always insisted his family arrive at Toronto Pearson airport no less than 6 hours before their flight’s scheduled departure time, took a bit of pleasure in noticing his moment has arrived.
“The kids always make fun of me,” said Brown as his family entered hour 3 of trying to clear customs for their flight to Jamaica. “Just because every other year my demands have resulted in them spending 4.5 hours browsing duty free or waiting in line at Tim Hortons just to have something to do.”
“But not this year. No one is going to roll their eyes as we finally take out seat this year! Assuming we actually make our flight.”
Like other airports Pearson has been plagued by delays that are caused either by airline staffing shortages or, if you listen to Rebel Media or a hockey podcast hosted by a less charismatic Don Cherry, a vaccine mandate that is unique to Canada, but also causing delays at airports worldwide. For Brown the reasons don’t really matter. All he cares about is finally getting a win over his teenage children.
“When he woke me up at 5am for our 3pm flight he had a mad glean in his eye said Brown’s son Andre. “Like he was the Washington Generals and he just found out the Harlem Globetrotters were too sick to play.”
“I haven’t seen him this happy since he successfully returned something to Canadian Tire without a receipt,” said daughter Michelle.
At press time the Brown’s flight had been cancelled.