QUEEN’S PARK – The Federal Government has announced it will not support a proposed expansion of Billy Bishop Airport, leaving Premier Doug Ford searching for the right moment to infor…
Tag: Airport
Privatized airports means Canadians will pay less flying Air Canada out of Rogers Airport sponsored by Draft Kings
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Carney has announced a plan to sell off Canadian airports, thus generating revenue for his new sovereign wealth fund, and assures Canadians they will surely pay less…
Airport security introduces option to sketch travellers like one of their French girls
OTTAWA — Canada’s Air Transport Security Authority has announced that travellers averse to being scanned by invasive technology will now have the option to be gracefully sketched like one o…
Carry-on luggage needs its own ticket says airlines
Pearson Airport, Toronto – In a recent announcement, the cash-strapped airline industry has announced that every bag will require its own ticket. Instead of overhead bins, retrofitted plane…
Man who can’t afford to travel enters minute 25 of listening to friend’s airport horror story
TORONTO – Local man Eric Braiser is currently approaching the half-hour mark of politely listening to his friend Sarah talk about what a nightmare her recent flight out of Pearson was. R…
Sick fuck prefers middle seat
TORONTO — An Air Canada flight to Orlando was grounded Thursday after it was revealed that a sick fuck on board actually requested to sit in the middle seat. “When I asked if he’d mind switching …
Dad who always insists his family get to the airport six hours early grateful his time has come
Whitby, ON – Local father Winston Brown, who has always insisted his family arrive at Toronto Pearson airport no less than 6 hours before their flight’s scheduled departure time, took…
Calgary airport tows away passenger in wheelchair for waiting in Lexus-only boarding area
CALGARY – The Calgary Airport Authority has towed away an 87-year-old passenger in a wheelchair for placing himself in the Lexus owners-only boarding area while waiting for a flight to Toro…
Bird stuck in airport unaware of ironic art it’s inspiring
TORONTO – A white-throated sparrow that had the misfortune of flying into the Toronto Pearson Airport has become the muse of many terrible artists within the terminal. “It’s like a metaphor…
Air Canada unveils new oxygen mask fee
“Passengers are welcome to forgo the fee and simply pass out.” New episode of The Beaverton this Wednesday at 10pm EST on Comedy!…
