OTTAWA – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and the Liberal Party have unveiled their 2021 election platform, full of commitments and spending promises they could have easily fulfilled at any time during their 6 years in power.
“Our platform will institute 10 dollars a day daycare, clean our waters and raise corporate taxes on wealthy banks,” yelled Trudeau over the screams of anti-vaxxers calling for him to be hanged, drawn and quartered. “All things we didn’t do before for some reason, but will now!”
“In fairness we were quite busy planning for an election nobody wanted.”
The Liberal plan will also commit to spending billions more on Canada’s health care system, which has been swimming in funding for most of the Liberals’ reign but became underfunded in the last few months.
“We are very proud of our platform. And we think there is something in there for every Canadian. Even if you don’t benefit from any of our programs personally, you can make a fun betting game guessing which of these promises we’ll actually do!” added Trudeau.