Shoppers Drug Mart, Ontario – A new study from researchers at Harvard Medical has found that people who ignore their emotions and bury them deep within ends up being the best approach for s…
Tag: health
BREAKING: Makers of 9-in-1 body wash admit it’s just laundry detergent
OTTAWA — In a stunning revelation that has shaken the personal care industry to its core, the makers of Düush+, a popular men’s 9-in-1 body wash, have admitted that the product is actually just l…
New Pilates routine so easy you can do it in front of an open fridge while you eat peanut butter straight from the jar
With our routines busier than ever, fitness buffs are embracing a new pilates routine that can fit easily into daily routine moments, such as waiting for an elevator, standing at a bus stop, or c…
Mom successfully convinced ashtray is for guest use only
WINDSOR — Crisis was averted over the weekend when local cashier Jennifer Pratt successfully convinced her mother that the ashtray in her living room is for guest use only. “Usually I’m meticulou…
Spoon found on counter probably clean enough
NORTH BAY – Nathan Pike who lives alone discovered a spoon on his counter and decided it was clean enough to use. Pike then plunged the spoon into a container of sugar to grab a half scoop,…
REPORT: Ignoring suffering of others linked to optimism
CALGARY, AB – A recent study out of the University of Alberta has come to the startling conclusion that ignoring the suffering of others is linked to having an optimistic view of life. When…
Chill as fuck medicine okay to consume with alcohol
Beaconsfield, QC – A generic store brand prescription medication, Padrazole, is making waves at a local house party after college rugby player, Luke Auden found out the stomach ulcer treati…
Running every day is the secret to long life, claim people being chased by lions
Abbotsford, BC – What’s the secret to a long and healthy life? According to those currently being hunted by hungry lions, the trick is running as fast as you possibly can. “Just don’t stop runnin…
World’s sick, injured travel to see NHL team doctors after they miraculously heal entire rosters in time for playoffs
LAS VEGAS – People with injuries and illnesses that conventional doctors have been unable to hear have begun making medical pilgrimages to see NHL team doctors after hearing how they were a…
Optometrists finally admit there is no difference between one and two
Welland, ON – In a big win for optometry patients around the country, the nation’s eye doctors have finally come clean, admitting there is no difference between lens number one and lens number tw…
