FORT ERIE, ON – Ontario Finance Minister Charles Sousa has lost $105 million in wagers after announcing a $105 million annual investment in the horse racing industry.
“Come on! Come on!” cheered a keyed up Sousa, as his lanky thoroughbred, Dog Food, slipped into last during the straightaway. “Oh man, there’s another few hundred added to my deficit!”
The provincial finance minister, who has put money on such other against-the-odds darlings such as Almighty Clipper, Red Eye, Tango in Sudbury, and the horse racing industry, gripped his trilby and betting ticket until his knuckles went white.
“Give it your all!” the minister screamed, eyes bulging red, as his cigar miraculously failed to depart from his lips.
At press time, Sousa had returned to Queen’s Park to inform caucus they would not be able to afford more hydro subsidies this week.
With files from Alex Huntley
