CALGARY – Calgary has unveiled the design of its new hockey arena and event centre, Scotia Place, which will share the same sleek and contemporary look as famous arenas across Canada like Rogers …
Tag: Scotiabank
How to protest mass slaughter without inconveniencing anyone
As Israel continues to bombard Gaza, causing the deaths of thousands of civilians, you may be wondering how to properly protest without causing a huge scene or bothering people just trying to enj…
Erin O’Toole reverses position he hasn’t announced yet
OTTAWA – In the wake of changing his position on abortion, guns and the carbon tax, Erin O’Toole has also announced that he no longer plans to sell corporate naming rights to all of …
Scotiabank purchases naming rights on all future Canadian variants of coronavirus
TORONTO – In light of news that the World Health Organization would be renaming key variants of COVID-19, Scotiabank has announced plans to bid on the naming rights of all future coronaviru…
Cocksure pigeon really struttin’ about town
TORONTO – Sources on the ground are reporting that one surprisingly cocksure pigeon was struttin’ down Bloor Street this past Monday as though he owned the whole town. “Usually I don’t even…
Nova Scotia to be renamed Scotiabank Province
HALIFAX – In a bid to increase brand awareness, the Bank of Nova Scotia has agreed to pay $5,000 and an iPad to the province of Nova Scotia to change its name to Scotiabank Province. “It’s …
Banks concerned looming recession may hinder Millennial ability to build up crippling debt
OTTAWA — This week, financial analysts reported that the North American economy is showing major signs of a looming recession, which could negatively impact the abilities of youths to owe b…
Ontario to rename all John A. MacDonald schools John A. Scotiabank Elementary
Luke is joined by Miguel Rivas, Andrew Barr and Nile Seguin. They get into the furor over how the Maple Leafs will now play in a building named after a different corporation (3:00), the campaign …
Canadian banks now charging $3.50 for every button you press on an ATM
TORONTO – Canada’s largest banks are now charging a $3.50 fee for every button that is pressed on any bank machine. RBC, TD, BMO, ScotiaBank and CIBC claim that the new ‘digit service fee’ …
Scotiabank admits ‘richer than you think’ slogan was a math error
TORONTO – In a startling revelation this morning Scotiabank admitted that their famous slogan ‘You’re richer than you think’ is, in fact, not true, and only arose b…