KINGSTON, ON – Queen’s University has reached out to Elon Musk offering eight dollars a month to stop telling people he attended the higher learning institution. While the university …
Tag: Queen’s University
Queen’s students argue their campus outbreak will be way better than Western’s
KINGSTON – A group of Queen’s University students are setting the record straight declaring that their campus-wide outbreak of COVID-19 will be way better than the University of Western Ont…
Scientists confirm cool teenagers can smell your fear
KINGSTON, ON – A team of scientists at Queen’s University issued a press release yesterday stating that after a harrowing study, they have officially concluded that cool teenagers can smell when …
Kingston residents shocked to discover terror plot not the fault of Queen’s students
KINGSTON – After a local teen was arrested on suspicion of a terrorist plot, residents were baffled to discover the incident had no apparent connection with Queen’s University or its students. “Y…
Kingston renamed Queen’s University Theme Park
KINGSTON – After years of struggling to hold Queen’s unending stream of young, white, and wealthy students accountable for disrespecting the city, Mayor Bryan Paterson surrendered today and…
Wynne kills Gardiner, DVP roads tolls in appeal to popular “Fuck Toronto” constituency
TORONTO – Premier Kathleen Wynne has pulled her support for Toronto City Council’s plan to implement road tolls on the Gardiner Expressway and Don Valley Expressway, choosing instead to ali…
Queen’s students torn on which racist theme-party to go to tonight
KINGSTON, ON – A group of Queen’s University students are divided on which of the five cultural appropriation costume parties they would like to attend this evening. Negotiations to break t…
Study: Yes you should become a DJ
KINGSTON – A recently published multidisciplinary research study at Queen’s University has concluded that yes, you should totally be a DJ. “We rated performance in a variety of categories, …
University hazing: first year English Literature students forced to read Milton out loud
KINGSTON – Queen’s University administration is currently investigating a hazing incident involving first year English literature students who were forced to read Books IV to IX of Milton’s…
Ontario to give low-income students free University education starting year after you graduate
TORONTO — The Ontario government announced this week a new program that will offer free tuition to all low-income students, and make post secondary education more affordable for middle inco…