WASHINGTON D.C. – Following a whirlwind week at Davos, and despite backtracking on threats to annex Greenland, US President Donald Trump is still threatening to tariff Champagne to keep people fr…
Tag: France
French authorities won’t charge Louvre thieves on grounds the crime was really cool
PARIS – Following a brazen daylight heist of the French crown jewels from the Louvre, French authorities have declared no charges will be laid, citing the country’s “Trop Cool Pour Être Un …
Western World to recognize Palestine as a state in September if it’s still there
PARIS/LONDON/OTTAWA – The governments of France, the UK and Canada have said they will do what’s morally right and recognize Palestine’s right to exist as a nation as early as September, pr…
Canada seeks new country to rip off every part of our culture from
OTTAWA – As Canada works to separate our economy from the increasingly chaotic United States, the Canadian government is also searching for a new country to shamelessly copy for our entire …
Liberal Party watches in horror as French centrists fail to turn fear of right-wing maniacs into unending political power for themselves
OTTAWA – High ranking members of Canada’s Liberal Party were shocked and dismayed by the results of the French election, with Trudeau in particular unable to fathom that Macron’s centrist c…
BREAKING: France okay with certain immigrants
MOSCOW, RUSSIA – After a high scoring 4 – 2 victory over Croatia in the 2018 World Cup finals, the entire nation of France announced Sunday that it finally embrace certain immigrants,…
Report: Jealous ballet understudy still leading cause of death in France
PARIS – The Institut National de la Statistique et des Etudes Economiques released their annual study of the leading causes of death in France yesterday, and for the 168th consecutive year,…
Caveman artist enters mammoth period
Chauvet Cave, FRANCE – The Cave art scene was abuzz this week with news that local cave art star Drog has officially dropped horses and entered his Mammoth period. “Drog draw mammoth …
France successfully defeats fascism for first time
PARIS – Jubilant French citizens took to the streets this evening to celebrate their nation’s Presidential election results, which mark the first time their country has been able to prevent…
Recently uncovered Nostradamus quatrain predicts 7-11
SALON-DE-PROVENCE, FRANCE – An international team of archaeologists has discovered a shocking Nostradamus prophecy that seems to have foretold the events of 7-11, nearly half a millennium b…
