News in Photos…
Tag: fashion
Underwear dropped on laundromat floor still clean…right?
Bowmanville, ON — After dropping her freshly-washed undies on the laundromat floor yesterday afternoon, local woman Beth Jonks has determined that the pair is still clean enough to wear… probabl…
Petite woman excited to flaunt child-sized mask
MISSISSAUGA, ON- 5’1” woman Alexandra Vega cannot be more eager to tell the world that she yet again is not like other girls, because adult-sized masks are too large for her perfectly small and f…
Hypebeasts disappointed to discover Supreme gas not a petroleum collab
TORONTO – Hypebeasts around the world found themselves disappointed after the new revelation that Supreme gas is not actually a petroleum collab as they had thought all this time. It was co…
Doug Ford extends quarantine after learning how long it takes to grow out bangs
TORONTO – Having announced a two-week-long state of emergency roughly two weeks ago, Ontario Premier Doug Ford announced that the province-wide order would be extended after he learned how …
Resilient 11-year-old Ugg boots survive annual closet purge
LONDON, ONT – In a stunning feat of perseverance, an ageing, tattered pair of camel coloured Ugg boots have managed to survive yet another year in their owner’s annual closet purge. “I just can’t…
5 purses for summer that are just various bags of takeout
With the inauguration of summer comes the inevitable transition from weighted winter sweaters to barely-there-bikinis. But finding the right purse to match your eazy-breezy summer vibe is no easy…
Local man’s dog has better jacket than him
TORONTO – This week dog owner Ben Mazer shocked Bickford dog park by showing up with a dog with a significantly better jacket. Clad in a simple coat from an army surplus outlet, Mazer seemed unfa…
Woman’s sole purpose is to impress her teen neighbour with outfit
HAMILTON, ON — Local woman Sidney Danskin finally admitted the truth to herself, that her sole purpose in life is to impress her teen neighbour Maddison Nicks with her clothing choices. “I’…
Which cult do I need to join to get a fashionable linen matching set?
By Janine Suarez Listen, I feel like I need to say this right off the top, I do NOT condone the mass suicides that most prominent cults are known for, however I do admire how dedicated they were …
