VANCOUVER – Students attending the Unholiday Dance at Our Lady of Infernal Evil’s Satanist School have just been reminded by a volunteer chaperone to “Leave space for Lucifer” while slow da…
Tag: Dumb Week
Bagel Bites continue to outsell Bagel Chewed
Miami Florida- This morning the Kraft Heinz Corporation, who produce the beloved snack Bagel Bites announced that they will be discontinuing the deeply unpopular alternative, Bagel Chewed. Bagel…
Slinky tired of bending over backwards for your entertainment
CHICAGO, IL – Last Friday, after being pushed down an escalator and forced to perform for hours on end, Slinky reached its breaking point. “I’m tired of bending over backwards f…
Researchers discover rare breed of Canadian tuxedo cat
GUELPH, ON – The scientific community celebrated a groundbreaking discovery this week, with researchers uncovering the existence of a Canadian tuxedo cat. The feline in question, whom researchers…
Defective Vorpal Blade goes Snacker-Snick
WONDERLAND – In a shocking move Wednesday, L. Carroll Enterprises, manufacturer of the popular Vorpal Blade line of self-defence devices, has issued a product-wide recall after a large batch of b…
Boq tuah! Here’s how that weird little guy from Wicked likes his oral
MUNCHKINLAND – Wonder no more, Wicked fans: Boq, the weirdest little guy at Dear Old Shiz University has released a statement detailing exactly how he likes to spit on that Ozian thang, and…
Lock tuah! Why you should always use two-factor authentication
Have you ever been told about 2-factor authentication – that is, voluntarily providing 2 methods of identification when logging into an account, like a password and a text message code R…
Sock tuah! Lost knee high finally found in lint trap
REGINA – A local woman is celebrating tonight after finding her long lost work sock in the last place she looked – the lint trap of her dryer. “There’s really only a few places that m…
Churchapalooza showcases new Christian ACDC cover band ADBC
SALT LAKE CITY – North America’s biggest Christian rock music festival, Churchapalooza, is excited to announce their newest headliner and this year’s most talked about group – t…
Clock tuah! Meet the woman who wears two wristwatches at once
WINNIPEG – Local woman Renee Schloss is garnering major attention for her unique affectation – wearing two functioning wristwatches at once. “I wear one on the left, and one on the ri…
