OTTAWA – After a damning CSIS report revealing efforts by Chinese spies to influence Canada’s 2019 election, a follow-up report by Elections Canada concluded that foreign spies appear to be…
Tag: CSIS
Man thinks CSIS targeted ad a sign he should be a spy
MILTON, ONT – Local man Frank McDonald is pretty sure he should become a spy after receiving a targeted CSIS ad on Facebook. “I was scrolling through my timeline, minding my own business wh…
3rd grader informs classmates he can kill a man with any object
EDMONTON — CSIS recruiters likely have an eye on Northwood Elementary 3rd grader Dustin Fuller after he bragged to classmates that he can kill a man with any object. “If I had to fight someone li…
‘Communist Broadcasting Corporation’ Facebook comment lands uncle 5 years in gulag
Tweed, ON – After a months long trial, local uncle Herb McKinley has been found guilty of criticizing the Communist Broadcasting Corporation and sentenced to 5 years hard labour in the gula…
Local imam pretty sure entire congregation CSIS agents
TORONTO – After noticing a spike in attendance, local imam Karim Al-Tamimi believes that almost all of the people who regularly attend his masjid are agents of the Canadian Security Intelli…
ISIS claims responsibility after Saleem’s home-brewed IPA tastes like crap
MISSISSAUGA, ON – Just hours after Saleem cracked the first bottle of his home-brewed ‘Malternative Hop’ IPA, the international terrorist organization ISIS has claimed responsibility and pr…
Minister apologizes to public servant Deborah Parks, SIN #555 053 043 for privacy breach
OTTAWA – Public Works Minister Judy Foote has personally apologized to public servant Deborah Jane Parks whose Social Insurance Number is listed as 555 053 043 and lives at 394 Johnson Blvd…
Tories: ‘Reinstated mandatory census is unfair to however many Canadians there are’
OTTAWA – The Conservative party came out against the mandatory census again this week, saying that it creates undue stress and is totally irrelevant to all of the several million people cur…
Nation worried about spying, says CSIS review of private correspondences
OTTAWA – An in-depth survey by the Canadian Security Intelligence Service has found Canadians are deeply troubled by the idea of mass surveillance, according to their personal letters and d…
Slow Canadian takeover of U.S. going according to plan
OTTAWA – In a dark, shadowy bunker deep beneath Parliament Hill, an assembled group of Canada’s top politicians, businesspeople, and spymasters known as the True North Society have expressed cryp…