KANSAS CITY, KS – Across the United States conservative commentators have uncovered a plot by pop megastar Taylor Swift, along with her current boyfriend, Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce, to …
Tag: CFL
“Who gives a shit about the CFL?” asks man who recently started watching professional Pickleball
TORONTO – Local man Mark Huntings has expressed his firm belief that the CFL is a niche league that no one actually cares about, unlike the massively popular Major League Pickleball he rece…
Pope Francis closes Commonwealth Stadium mass with 52-yard Hail Mary
EDMONTON, AB – A massive open-air church service held at Commonwealth Stadium concluded when Pope Francis completed a 52-yard Hail Mary in the last few seconds of the mass’ regulation time.…
CFL cancels season after potential exposure to Winnipeg
WINNIPEG – CFL Commissioner Randy Ambrosie announced that there will be no 2020 Canadian Football Season stating that the risk is too high for players being exposed to Winnipeg. “The safety…
Enlightened Edmonton CFL team discovers that money is more important than being racist
EDMONTON – The Edmonton Eskimos will change its name after the team’s corporate leadership discovered that having money is more important than being racist. In the wake of sponsors threaten…
Saskatchewan man keeps reminding people that CFL season was postponed too
REGINA – Amidst conversations about the NHL, NBA and MLB seasons possibly resuming soon, local man Gord Marsh is reminding people that the CFL season was also postponed as a result of COVID…
Edmonton CFL team doubles down by adding Confederate flag
EDMONTON – Expressing their contempt for what they call “football-hating social justice warriors,” Edmonton Eskimos management have added a Confederate flag to their logo. Management explai…
Toronto woman who endured Harper decade “just doesn’t understand” what it’s like for feds to ignore her interests
TORONTO – Amancia Gordon, 43, has been repeatedly told by those living in the West that she can never understand the plight of having a federal government who doesn’t champion the values sh…