Surrey, BC – Señor Peanut Justinian Handsome Pants the Great, a local orange tabby cat, just found out he was adopted. “I’m just devastated,” says Peanut, wiping away either a tear or a particula…
Tag: adoption
Woman diligently washing vibrator pretty sure she could be a good mom
MONTREAL – While carefully washing her $200 vibrator after use, local woman Maya Shah had the epiphany that it’s very likely she could be a great mother. She has since applied to adopt a ch…
Woman’s retirement plan crumbles after she accounts for living, laughing, but not loving
TORONTO – In a horrifying discovery yesterday, Kimberly Atkinson’s meticulously-researched retirement plans were torn apart after the 33 year-old interior designer realized that she had painstaki…
QUIZ: Have you made an informed decision not to have children or are you a selfish witch?
Ah, children. Life’s little bundles of joy. Every woman’s purpose in life. Or do you disagree? Have you, an adult woman, thought hard about whether or not to have children and come out on the sid…
Study: Children raised by LGBTQ parents less likely to be complete accidents
LONDON, ON: Researchers at Western University have published a new study that claims LGBTQ parents are less likely to have children by accident. The study surveyed one hundred parents and guardia…
Just a heads up to treat your adopted cousins the same as your normal cousins
By: Aunt Pam Greetings Tompkins Family! I know there’s no big gathering coming any time soon but I felt compelled to write to you all to remind you of something that’s been bothering me for a whi…
Angelina Jolie splits from Brad Pitt to spend more time collecting children
LOS ANGELES – In an announcement which has stunned the public, Hollywood power couple Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have split up, citing Jolie’s wish to spend more time expanding her child …