Wikileaks Secret Santa ends prematurely when identity of Secret Santa is posted online
THE INTERNET – What started as an effort to boost the morale of the activists who make up Wikileaks turned into a disaster Thursday when the details of the website’s Secret Santa gift excha…
Entire nation stuck behind single, slow-walking man
CANADA – Industry, government, and social gatherings ground to a halt today as every Canadian citizen found themselves unable to get around an Edmonton man out for a very leisurely stroll. …
Harper hopes cyberbullying law puts an end to circulating snapchats of Mulcair’s nipple
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Harper announced in a press conference yesterday that he sincerely hopes his anti-cyberbullying bill will end the disturbing stream of continuous and aggressive Snap…
McGill University: The Beaverton University Reviews
Name: McGill University Nickname: The Harvard of the North, Oxford of the West, the UCLA of the East, the University of Canberra of the North-Northeast, and the Moleman Episcopalian College of th…
Local couple saving to afford dream divorce
AURORA, ON – After two kids and 15 years of marriage, Pam and John Harris have begun saving up to afford the best divorce proceedings money can buy. “This is a real priority for both of us,…
Toronto named number one city for young people, internationally
A global urban index has ranked Toronto as number 1 out of 25 of the world’s major cities based on qualities most attractive for people between the ages of 15 and 29. What’s your say? “It’s not s…
Canadian math teachers can’t calculate why math scores are dropping
OTTAWA – a recent international survey of mathematical performance by the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) has concluded that Canada’s students are only t…
World Vision to throw in free poor child if you sponsor 5 or more goats
Monrovia, CA – One of the world’s largest christian aid programs is offering its donors the free gift of an impoverished child when you adopt 5 or more goats for his or her village. “We are…
Local jewish man drives Hummer 3 blocks to celebrate miraculous oil conservation
THORNHILL – When Samuel Rosen’s mother guilt-tripped him into attending the last night of Hanukkah, he reluctantly got into his Hummer and drove the 256 metres to her house. Asked by his mildly e…
Study: If young people want jobs, they should just be middle-aged
VICTORIA, BC – A recent study by the Baby Boom Institute has confirmed that the only obstacle facing young people who seek employment is their own refusal to be middle-aged people. “Our res…
