Taxi protest delays commuters just long enough to download Uber app
TORONTO – A protest by taxi-cab drivers against Uber’s infringement on their business caused gridlock on the Gardiner, Lakeshore and Queen Street, giving commuters just enough time to downl…
Neil Peart to retire in three months after completion of current drum solo
TORONTO – Famed drummer Neil Peart has stunned the music world by announcing that he is set to retire in approximately three months, just as soon as he finishes his current drum solo. Peart, a fo…
Conservatives demand to know how Trudeau will pay for “human dignity” promised to Aboriginals
OTTAWA — Interim Conservative leader Rona Ambrose and her MPs are demanding to know how the Liberal government will be able to afford treating indigenous people of Canada with human dignity…
New workplace stress training empowers employees to blame selves
Newmarket, ON — A new workplace stress management course at office supply distributor Nanco Dynamics will help ensure employees take responsibility for their stress rather than blaming a dy…
Beijing’s smog warnings difficult to see through smog
BEIJING — In the wake of Beijing’s first ever “Red Alert” air pollution advisory, a new poll suggests that a significant fraction of the city’s residents have been unable to see the governm…
Radio DJ ensures gun loaded, door barred before starting another week of Christmas music
TORONTO – Jason “Smooth J” Carruthers, DJ for “The Flex” on 98.1, has spent the weekend beefing up security measures in preparation for another week of non-stop Christmas music. “In the sec…
Scientists discover cure for common cold: cancelling plans
CALGARY – A new report from the University of Calgary medical school has found that the elusive cure for the common cold is a prescription for cancelling all the plans you made before you g…
MPs line up to sit on Supreme Court Justices’ laps to ask what laws they want struck down for Christmas
OTTAWA — In a tradition that is as old as Ottawa, 338 excited MPs lined up at the Supreme Court to ask the justices what laws they want struck down or amended for Christmas. Dressed in thei…
Justin Trudeau demands ISIS reduce greenhouse gas emissions by 20%
PARIS – In an impassioned speech at the Paris Climate Summit on Tuesday, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau issued a public demand that the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS) immediately take step…