KYOTO – After a thrilling eighty five levels that saw him collect 2.1 billion gold coins, former Nintendo president Hiroshi Yamauchi has run out of lives and been sent back to the main menu…
World
Architects misplace new invisible building
SEOUL – Architects in South Korea have lost their new invisible building – the Tower Infinity – after it was last seen semi-constructed near Incheon airport outside of Seoul. &…
Chinese children celebrate Labour Day with record productivity
BEIJING – China is celebrating the announcement that its youths set a world record for productivity on Labour Day this year. Thirteen-year-old Lin Shenlun, stood proud in front of three tho…
UN condemns the use of child soldiers at Laser Quest
NEW YORK – In a move to further eliminate child soldiers, the UN has strongly denounced the use of children in laser tag warfare. General Assembly Resolution 2124 – which passed 183 t…
Putin blames Monsanto for chemical attacks
NEW YORK – Russian military intelligence has discovered that the genetic and agricultural giant Monsanto has been engaging in chemical warfare within Syria. Putin announced this discovery after r…
Western countries to rescue Syrians from chemical weapons by bombing them with normal weapons
WASHINGTON DC – Following another chemical weapons attack in the region, Western countries have intervened on behalf of Syria’s civilian population to ensure that the bombings there return …
Malia Obama catches father intercepting her text messages
WASHINGTON, DC – Tempers flared at the White House Monday night when Malia Obama discovered her father had been reading her text messages. The fourteen year-old first daughter was outraged …
Researchers discover remote Amazonian tribe that still uses Palm Pilots
BRAZIL-COLOMBIAN BORDER – A group of anthropologists has returned from the Amazon rainforest with the shocking news that they have discovered a previously unknown tribe that uses Palm Pilot…
Israel and Palestine ready to begin undermining new round of peace talks
WASHINGTON D.C. – Three years after the previous talks collapsed, the governments of Israel and Palestine will begin a new round of direct talks in the hopes of achieving new and likely ins…
Volunteer generously spends average income of a Nicaraguan on trip to help poor Nicaraguans
MANAGUA – After saving up her pay-checks and fundraising, do-gooder Julie Stuart-Labelle has spent the average yearly salary of a Nicaraguan for a three week trip to help the poor of that c…
