BRUSSELS – Members of the European Trade Commission gorged on fattened duck liver to to celebrate the WTO’s decision to uphold the ban on Canadian seal products. “We’re pleased to hear that…
World
NSA Scandal: Angela Merkel disappointed wiretaps didn’t teach Americans how to run an economy
BERLIN – When Angela Merkel learned that the NSA was listening to her phone calls, she wasn’t upset by American spying and lying, she was incensed by President Obama’s failure to glean any …
Canadian navy warship contributes to drug bust by not sinking
HALIFAX – HMCS Preserver made the difference in a cocaine bust in the Caribbean Sea by staying afloat earlier this week. “The Royal Canadian Navy demonstrated professionalism and hard work …
Putin celebrates Nobel Peace Prize nomination by eating the hearts of his enemies
RUSSIA – Russian president Vladmir Putin’s peacekeeping efforts earned him a Nobel Prize nomination last week, prompting a presidential celebration that left six Chechnyan rebel leaders dea…
The Tea Party won’t back down until someone tells them what they are fighting for
WASHINGTON – Members of the Tea Party Caucus have informed Americans that they will not vote to end the government shut down until it is made absolutely clear to them what exactly they are being …
NSA asks Americans to eavesdrop on each other during government shutdown
WASHINGTON – With the US government shut down, the National Security Agency is appealing to Americans to monitor the activity and conversations of their family, neighbors, colleagues and foreign …
Jack Ryan to avenge Tom Clancy’s death
BALTIMORE – After the passing of renowned author of several espionage and military thrillers, CIA analyst Jack Ryan is vowing revenge on whoever killed him. “Tom was one of my most trusted …
Political blizzard closes US government, schools remain open
WASHINGTON – One million US federal employees will stay at home today and possibly longer after Congress announced government closure in the wake of an ongoing nationwide political blizzard…
Local man excited the whole thing in Syria is over
MILTON – After weeks of worrying, Timothy Pond was relieved to hear the whole situation in Syria had been solved. Pond, a 46-year-old construction worker from Milton, believes the chemical disarm…
Political science major knows he could have handled Kenyan hostage crisis better
VANCOUVER – A third year political science student at the University of British Columbia is certain that the recent terrorist attack at a mall in Nairobi would have been resolved faster and…
