BRUSSELS, BELGIUM – Following the suspension of Russian President Vladimir Putin from the Group of Eight, meetings between the world leaders have become “stiff”, “overly business-like”, and…
World
Celebrity visit to disaster zone helps replenish dwindling supply of celebrities
MANILA – In an act of entertainment humanitarianism, a famous celebrity visited a disaster zone to restock a dangerously low supply of renowned entertainers. “These people have nothing to a…
Ex-Pope Benedict caught playing mini-golf in cutoff jean shorts
THE HOLY SEE – Former Pope Benedict XVI has been spotted for the first time since his abrupt retirement playing a round of mini golf in the suburbs of Rome while sporting cutoff jean shorts. The …
EXCLUSIVE: Fate of missing Malaysian airplane finally conjectured upon
KUALA LUMPUR – Days after Malaysian Airlines flight MH370 mysteriously vanished without a trace, there is finally conjecture on just what exactly happened. “It took a lot of digging, but I …
After travel mix up, Stephen Harper accidentally signs free trade agreement with North Korea
PYONGYANG – After a pilot error took him to the wrong part of the Korean peninsula, Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper mistakenly signed a free trade agreement with the North Korean Dem…
Kim Jung-un boasts to West about North Korea’s record low obesity rate
PYONGYANG – North Korea’s supreme leader Kim Jong-un has bragged to Western leaders about his country’s resoundingly low obesity rate. “The Americans tremble at the ferocity of our citizens…
Progressive Pope gives up celibacy for Lent
HOLY SEE – Continuing the trend of his liberal reign as Catholicism’s spiritual leader, Pope Francis I has announced that he will be giving up celibacy for Lent this year. As modern traditi…
Ukraine Crisis: NATO ready to flex its letter writing muscle
BRUSSELS – The North Atlantic Treaty Organization has mobilized 30,000 troops from European alliance ready to engage in a full scale letter writing campaign in the event of an armed conflic…
President Obama barricades self in Oval Office after House of Cards marathon
WASHINGTON – Following a 13 hour binge-viewing of the newly released second season of the Netflix exclusive series House of Cards, the President of the United States of America has barricaded him…
Russian Olympics security to crack down on any outward displays of pride
MOSCOW – Responding to international pressure over homophobic legislation, Russian president Vladimir Putin has announced the passing of a new universal law against displays of pride. “Russia is …
