You know what they say, kids are either the greatest joy in your life, a constant burden on your spirit, or some combination of both. But no matter how much you love your children, one thing is c…
Lifestyle
Report: Valentine’s Day doesn’t buy into you either, Craig
BRAMPTON, ON – According to a recent report, Valentine’s Day has ceased to believe in Brampton resident Craig Moore. “We’re not going taking part in Craig this year,” read a statement from …
7 recipes to combat your existential dread
If you’re feeling the angst of meaninglessness, you’re not alone. Let’s face it, the fact of nihilism means nothing really matters, so eating well is only slowing down the count to your inevitabl…
Local cuck happily married
WINNIPEG – Despite reports confirming that local librarian Richard Gordon is a complete beta cuck, further evidence has recently emerged that he is in a happy and healthy marriage of severa…
5 ways to fool your family into thinking you’re doing something with your life
Sometimes it’s difficult to make things happen. If you’re a millennial throwing your life away on technology, social media conversations, and a dream that you will one day be able to …
Bryan Baeumler shows the Beaverton how to find reasonably priced homes for sale in Toronto
Finally some good news for Toronto homebuyers from Bryan Baeumler.…
Local dad wakes screaming from nightmare in which he failed to beat weekend traffic
TORONTO – Carson Evans, a local father of three, awoke last night in a cold sweat after having a nightmare in which he failed to beat cottage traffic on a Friday afternoon. “Leave… Leave at…
Total madman invites you to go camping this weekend
THUNDER BAY — Despite cold temperatures, forecasts of snowy squalls, and the fact that the Sleeping Giant Provincial Park camping season ended over a month ago, local crazy person Eric Wear has i…
Genetic Lottery Commercial
What would you do if you won the genetic lotto? The Beaverton airs tonight at 10:30pm (et) on The Comedy Network, immediately followed by our writers panel Facebook Livestream.…
Woman tears up at wedding photo capturing moment where her arms looked thin
CALGARY—Local woman Maura Lessing has reportedly experienced a special and life-affirming moment after looking at a photo from her wedding taken at exactly the moment her arms looked very thin. “…
