Responding to continued criticisms over the high price tag of F-35 jets, the Conservative government has taken the project out of the Defence Department’s hands and given it to Public Works…
After 10 years PEI finally returns Nova Scotia’s lawn mower
NOVA SCOTIA – The province of PEI finally returned a borrowed lawn mower from 10 years ago to its neighbours in Nova Scotia. “The lawn mower is making a funny noise now and they didn’t fill…
To be perfectly honest, I couldn’t give a shit what you have to say to me
By a Voice Recorder Listen. First off, I know we’ve been working together for quite some time. I appreciate your loyalty when you could easily buy a more modern and convenient iPod touch with a b…
Machismo exhibited by not holding pole in subway car
TORONTO – Local commuter Jeff Saunders impressed passengers on a subway car when he abstained from holding the pole as the train came to a halt, sources reported last week. As the subway de…
Guy that lives in suburbs tells everyone he lives downtown
PICKERING, ON – Suburban citizen Jake Laysley tells everyone he meets that he lives downtown, despite the 1.5-hour driving commute it takes him to arrive in Toronto from his house in Picker…
Vancouver Canucks mascot returned to wild
VANCOUVER – Buckling under mounting pressure from animal rights activists, the Vancouver Canucks released their mascot, Fin the Whale, back into the wild earlier this week. Fin, a lovable k…
Dejected Rob Ford builds model subway line linking basement rec room to basement storage room
TORONTO – Despite pleas from all his sane family members not to go through with it, Toronto Mayor Rob Ford has invested thousands of household dollars to build a model subway line linking h…
Parents can’t decide who favourite kid is
WINNIPEG, MA – After discussing the matter at length, Becky and Ricky Calder are still unable to decide which of their two kids is their favourite. “Jenny’s got a lot going for her in the l…
