TORONTO – Attempting to salvage negotiations before an impending teacher strike, the Elementary Teachers’ Federation of Ontario (ETFO) said they would accept government enforced cuts so lon…
New father looking forward to son living in his shadow
SASKATOON, SK – Beaming new father Jack LaSalle was delighted to announce the birth of his son to the world, and said he was “really looking forward to seeing him spend most, if not all, of…
Arizona woman’s uterus convicted of manslaughter after miscarriage
PHOENIX, ARIZONA – Under the state’s recently passed Women’s Health and Safety Act, an Arizona woman’s uterus was convicted of manslaughter yesterday after miscarrying 3 weeks i…
TIFF UPDATE: Real celebrities show Canadian celebrities how it’s done
TORONTO – At Canada’s biggest entertainment event of the year, attendees are reporting that our country’s celebrities are being outdone by their American counterparts. “I was standing outsi…
Marineland CEO won’t get puppy until he proves he can take care of fish
NIAGARA FALLS, ON – Ontario’s Humane Society announced yesterday they were denying Marineland C.E.O., John Holer’s application to adopt a 2-month-old Dalmatian puppy he had planned on namin…
