QUEEN’S PARK – Despite continuously improving COVID numbers, Ontario Premier Doug Ford has put the province on notice not to let their guard down, as he currently remains in office. “…
John Tory gets haircut after receiving assurance that homeless people will not be given the clippings for warmth
TORONTO – After many months of growing his hair out, Toronto mayor John Tory has finally gotten his hair trimmed after painstaking measures to ensure that the newly shorn locks will not be …
Local Satanist worried his church is only second most evil
BARRIE, ON – After reading about the latest controversy surrounding the Catholic church, devout Satanist Damien Winslow is conflicted on whether or not his faith is doing enough of the devi…
Jason Kenney refuses to remove John A. MacDonald poster from bedroom
EDMONTON, AB- Despite continuous public outcry and numerous petitions, Alberta Premier Jason Kenney remains adamant that he will not have a poster depicting Sir John A. MacDonald taken down from …
Ontario to allow non-recreational camping trips
QUEEN’S PARK – As part of the province’s reopening plan, the Ontario government announced last week that Ontarians will be allowed to go camping this summer, as long as the trip…
Trudeau hopes no one notices him having a three-dose summer
OTTAWA – While trying to keep Canadians optimistic about his plan for a “one-dose summer”, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is also doing his best to avoid being called out for having already …
Experts advise melting down your Golden Globes to make an Oscar
LOS ANGELES, CA – With Tom Cruise returning his Golden Globe awards over allegations of a lack of diversity and ethics at the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, PR professionals recommend…
Biden pulls troops out of Afghanistan to keep them fresh for next unwinnable war
WASHINGTON, DC – US President Joe Biden announced his administration is preparing to reduce the American military’s presence in Afghanistan, so that the armed forces can prepare for the nat…
Oscar paparazzi getting great shots of their own laptops
LOS ANGELES, CA – The 93rd Academy Awards are underway, and the socially distanced press is currently getting some great shots of the famous attendees when they appear onscreen during the l…
Ford: “3rd wave’s the charm!”
QUEEN’S PARK – While announcing this week’s province-wide shutdown, Ontario Premier Doug Ford added that he is positive his administration is close to solving the current health…
