TORONTO – After a shopping trip to the Eaton Centre earlier today, Michelle Johnson returned home with yet another book on productivity to add to her already vast collection of never finish…
Report: Laptop tired of staying up until 3am every night
TORONTO – According to reports, Stephanie McGrath’s laptop simply can’t keep up with her late nights, most often consisting of google searches such as “Tilda Swinton how old” and Buzzfeed q…
BREAKING: Phone dead, laptop dead, iPad dead, in tragic technology massacre
MONCTON, NB — Three Apple products were pronounced dead at the scene this morning in what law enforcements are calling, “A technology triple homicide.” “It is difficult for me to comprehend…
The 5 best podcasts no one cares you’re listening to
Podcasts have quickly emerged as one of the most prevalent modes of entertainment, with infinite options to fit every need and niche. With the rise of podcasts has come an equally prevalent rise …
Breaking: Tall woman recognized for something other than being tall
CALGARY — In a historic moment for tall women everywhere, Susan Kettleman was recognized for something outside of her height earlier today. “I assumed I was being asked into my boss’s…
Local man needlessly stressed that 23andMe will clone his terrible DNA
CALGARY — Reports indicate that local man, Michael Greenwich, refuses to use the 23andMe kit gifted to him by his Mother out of a fear that they will duplicate his absolutely heinous DNA. “…
Local woman nods enthusiastically at anecdote she didn’t hear
CALGARY – Earlier today Kaitlyn Crandell was seen nodding encouragingly at a story she completely missed. “It really seemed like Kaitlyn enjoyed my anecdote. She was nodding so fervently” s…