TORONTO – Following 12 cases of food poisoning linked to the “cronut burger,” the department of Public Health has shut down the Canadian National Exhibition stand and has warned customers t…
Chris Brown quits music industry to escape abusive relationship with media
LOS ANGELES – R&B singer Chris Brown has announced that, following the release of his album “X”, he will retire from the music industry after facing what he described as a “steady, unre…
BREAKING: Trayvon Martin found guilty in murder of Trayvon Martin
SANFORD, FL – After deliberating for more than 16 hours, a jury on Saturday evening found George Zimmerman not guilty in the shooting death of Trayvon Martin, opting instead to find the una…
Retired Vic Toews: ‘If my Swiss Chalet’s not here in 30 minutes, you stand with child pornographers’
STEINBACH, MB – Upon announcing his retirement from the House of Commons, Vic Toews has instituted a “tough on crime” crackdown of his day-to-day affairs, beginning with his local Swiss Cha…
Concertgoers stunned as rock band returns to stage following curtain call and resumes playing
CLEVELAND – Following a 2-hour show by indie rock group Afterglow Green, local concertgoers were absolutely dumbfounded as the musicians returned to the stage and played new, additional son…
NSA Thinks You Should E-Mail Your Mother More Often
WASHINGTON – Following the disclosure of their secret surveillance program, PRISM, sources inside the NSA have expressed concern that you’re not e-mailing your mother enough. “Your mother s…
