President Obama barricades self in Oval Office after House of Cards marathon - The Beaverton

President Obama barricades self in Oval Office after House of Cards marathon

WASHINGTON – Following a 13 hour binge-viewing of the newly released second season of the exclusive series , the President of the United States of America has barricaded himself in the after reportedly becoming “really freaked out”.

“He seemed pretty spooked,” recounted White House Chief of Staff “He just kept muttering about how ‘creepy’ and ‘plausible’ it all seemed. Then he stopped, stared me up and down very suspiciously, and said ‘I gotta go’, before rushing off.“

Sources inside the West Wing report that, following a long day of appearances, trade talks, and a state dinner for the Chinese ambassador, the POTUS sat down intending to watch only the first episode of the newly released season. However, the President reportedly became swept up in the intrigue and clandestine manipulations of a newly installed VP out to destroy the sitting President, before fleeing to the Oval Office and locking the doors. 

One presidential aide, speaking on deep background, reported that the president would only open his office door to accept his lunch. “Inside the Oval Office I saw he’d put up a corkboard, with pictures of all his cabinet and a lot of colored yarn connecting them. When he saw me looking at it, he slammed the door.”

At press time Vice President was reportedly enjoying a Netflix marathon of and enjoying a jumbo package of SlimJims.