WASHINGTON D.C. – Following the announcement of Canadian poet Anne Carson as this year’s Nobel Prize in Literature recipient, President Donald Trump unleashed an online tirade insisting he was more deserving of the prize.
In a screed posted online Trump insisted that Carson, a celebrated poet and essayist, “couldn’t hold a candle” to his contributions to the world of writing and literature in 2026.
“Everyone knows that the writing I do on Truth Social while on the toilet at 4am deserved the Writing Pulitzer through sheer volume alone,” typed Trump from his West Wing residence.
The commander in chief of the United States continued, “Besides, it’s an established fact that Carson is an overrated HACK who’s been coasting ever since ‘Eros the Bittersweet’! No Talent Carson can’t even hold a candle to contemporaries like Marie Howe or modern essayist Jia Tolentino!! RIGGED VOTE!”
At press time, Trump’s aides are working on blocking the words “Mark Carney” and “Nobel” from Trump’s phone ahead of Friday’s peace prize announcement.
