WASHINGTON DC – With Joe Biden announcing his plans to drop out of the US presidential race, Donald Trump’s campaign has publicly asked the Democrats to nominate a similarly ineffectu…
Tag: United States
Biden assures Democrats COVID diagnosis won’t stop him from losing election
WASHINGTON DC – Following an announcement that he has contracted COVID-19 for a second time, US President Biden has assured worried Democratic lawmakers that this diagnosis will not impede …
“I’ll probably be shot before I graduate” replaces “my dog ate it” as #1 American homework excuse
WASHINGTON, DC ― According to reports from teachers in dozens of states, the classic excuse “my dog ate it” has been displaced in favour of citing the futility of studying for a life that will be…
Nation relieved to see Trump indicted before he could do anything really bad
NEW YORK – People across the United States and entire world are reportedly breathing sighs of relief that the former President is experiencing legal consequences, before he could do any rea…
Americans planning to “Move to Canada” following midterms asked to please bring some children’s medicine with them
NIAGARA FALLS – While the Democrats have fared better than expected in last night’s midterm elections, Health Canada has issued a request this morning that any political refugees stil…
“I’m really nervous about the November midterms” says Ontarian unaware of today’s election
BURLINGTON, ON – Local data engineer Chris Chen has spent weeks insisting to friends how worried he is about the upcoming US midterm elections, all without ever acknowledging the Ontario pr…