OTTAWA – Pollsters report a split among Canadians over the idea of higher tax on the assets of wealthy individuals, though support skyrockets after noting that Kevin O’Leary has vowed that he will respond to a wealth tax by moving far away.
With the Dragon’s Den TV personality loudly proclaiming that a wealth tax would “destroy the American Dream” and cause billionaire flight, Canadians are embracing the policy en masse in hopes that it will prevent O’Leary from ever returning north of the border.
“I’m somewhat in favour of progressive tax reform, but I’m extremely in favour of never having to hear another word out of that bald attention-grabbing jackass,” notes Velma Sparks of Canmore, AB.
“For safety’s sake maybe we should set up protective wealth taxes around Muskoka boating channels,” adds Martin Spellman, of Parry Sound, ON.
“I’m opposed to a wealth tax on macroeconomic grounds, but I’ll make an exception for the good of the nation,” explained Prime Minister Mark Carney.
Reached for comment Kevin O’Leary insisted on being addressed as “Mr. Wonderful”, and we just cancelled the whole interview.
At press time the wealth tax may no longer be necessary if O’Leary loses all of his money forcing data centres on unwilling rural communities just before the AI investment bubble pops.
