OTTAWA — In an effort to secure the construction of the Trans Mountain oil pipeline, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has engineered a magical “body switch” on the provinces of Alberta and British Columbia, to have them understand each other’s perspective.
Facing uncertain pipeline talks between Alberta Premier Rachel Notley and B.C. Premier John Horgan, Trudeau reportedly employed the unconventional method of sorcery to switch the two western provinces. As Sunday’s talks moved towards a stalemate, the Prime Minister reportedly tricked both Notley and Horgan into holding onto an enchanted amulet at the same time, enabling the transferal.
“Now, I hope this will teach you two provinces a valuable lesson about working together, and about the profits Kinder Morgan stands to make off the Trans Mountain pipeline,” Trudeau informed the two baffled premiers as they stared, mouths agape, at their now-unfamiliar reflections.
As the two premiers came to grips with being placed in each other’s bodies, the entire provinces of Alberta and British Columbia found themselves similarly mystically switched with citizens of their next door province.
Eyewitness reports soon flooded in. In Kelowna, oil sands worker Bruce Leland reported gaining an appreciation for nature after being supernaturally shifted from his job in Fort McMurray to the scenic west coast. “It was pretty disorienting at first,” reported Leland, 47. “But soon I found myself overcome with an appreciation for marijuana, yoga, and telling people I do yoga. It’s not so bad out here in B.C.”
Similar epiphanies were reported in Calgary by, Marjorie Plemmons, 61, who had been body-switched from Victoria. “It’s truly been an eye-opening experience, to go from the organic vegan co-op to having the livelihood of my entire province rest on a dwindling non-renewable resource. Plus, turns out steak is delicious.”
Observers questioned Trudeau’s unusual move of having a Freaky Friday occur on a Sunday, but chalked it up to the PM’s “bold new style”. Asked why he chose to employ the blackest of arcane magicks rather than negotiate an equitable deal between Alberta and B.C., Trudeau explained, “I will go to great arcane lengths rather than risk being unpopular.”
As the Freaky Friday came to a close without a new deal reached on the Trans Mountain pipeline, sources report Rachel Notley, still trapped in the body of John Horgan, refused to grab the magic amulet and return to her own body.
“To hell with the pipeline, or my body – I’m not going back to that Alberta winter,” yelled Notley from behind Horgan’s face.
