OTTAWA – In the wake of Stephen Harper’s open letter on the NAFTA renegotiations the entire nation of Canada has realized they no longer have any idea what their previous prime minister looks like.
“This is so weird. He governed Canada for nearly 10 years but I’ve just got nothing,” said Deandra Brown. “I think he had lips and a nose, but I can’t be certain.”
“But I am pretty sure his eyes were… blue?” she added.
From coast to coast Canadians struggled to remember whether Harper had dimples, facial hair or one of those cleft chin things. The nationwide amnesia has been concerning enough that neurologists have commenced a study to see if we have all been hit by the neuralyzer from Men In Black.
“He was definitely bald though. Or maybe his hair was just so unremarkable I can’t remember it,” said Ali Singh. “He had like a Paul Giamatti, Willem Dafoe kind of look,” he added in reference to two actors who look nothing alike.
Others were sure they knew exactly what Harper looked like, before realizing they were thinking of the Lego figure their son had been playing with.
In an attempt to rectify the situation Canadians were given a police line up of Stephen Harper next to other Conservatives. But nearly every time they were asked to identify Harper people picked out Andrew Scheer.
