PAOLO ALTO – In a stunning announcement Apple Inc. has revealed that their new MacBook Pro has been specially built so that it will function better if turned off from time to time.
“As our customers know, all of our previous laptops were supposed to be left on for months at a time until the screen froze and the hard drive started making a noise like a dying cat,” said C.E.O. Tim Cook during his presentation. “But given Apple’s history of revolutionary innovations we thought we’d go a different way for this new one.”
“Between this, and our state of the art processor which runs smoother the less porn you torrent, we think this is a must buy.”
The new Pro is also said to work better if people do not have 48 Microsoft Word documents and/or 500 internet tabs open at once. Users who have tried the product seem pleased by the experience.
“At first when they told me that, for this new edition, it would be a bad idea to leave every single program I’ve ever opened running I was skeptical but after seeing how fast the computer worked I loved it,” said longtime Apple fan Patrick Beverly as he sat at home with his very hot laptop place directly on his groin and bare legs.
The new MacBook ‘No You Can’t Just Close It You Have To Actually Turn It Off’ retails for $3,499.00
While the product is expected to sell well other competitors are also innovating. HP is already planning to release a new desktop that people should not spill food on.
