THESSALONIKI, GREECE ― Following a short jet-lagged nap, 34-year-old stock broker Rowan Goulding of Oshawa effectuated a Google search for “best restaurants near me.” Within moments, he was force…
Tag: internet
All emotional support tabs lost in recent Chrome update
Charlottetown, PEI – Despite promises that all tabs would reopen, a trusting local woman lost all of her emotional support tabs in a recent Chrome update. Michelle Greene has had at least 8…
Tech Update: Mom’s Already Posted Her SIN on Threads
Can you friggin believe it? Threads, Meta’s answer to Twitter, has been around for literally 24 hours, and Mom has already posted her SIN on it. ALREADY. The annoying thread in question was poste…
Historians unearth the pagan roots of Cyber Monday, reveal its origin in the ancient festival of CompuServehain
CAMBRIDGE – Historians studying ancient documents from the dawn of the information age have recently discovered that the holiday known today as Cyber Monday can be traced all the way back t…
Village Idiot buys Town Square
YE OLDE PAOLO ALTO – Surprising both maidens and lads, village idiot Elon Musk has purchased the town square and shall now rule it as he sees fit. “I decree that all may now enter the…
Local man figures he’ll wait until the next internet outage to read a book
PRINCE ALBERT, SK – As internet service returns to hundreds of Rogers customers nationwide, local copywriter Jack Pally’s plan to enjoy literature has been postponed yet again until the nex…
Rogers proudly announces $10 service charge for “Unplug and Relax” nationwide outage
TORONTO – Rogers Canada has proudly announced that all of their customers nationwide who experienced cellphone and internet outages yesterday will only be charged a low $10 service charge f…
Rogers family commemorates loss of matriarch with 3 day long service outage
TORONTO – Following the passing of family matriarch and telecom director Loretta Rogers, at age 83, Rogers Communications announced today they will be honouring her memory with a 3 day long…
Inspiring!! Man finally takes 45 seconds to unsubscribe from a 10 year old mailing list
“I did it!!, I finally did it!!” exclaimed local man Chimothee Talamet, as he finally took 45 seconds out of his day of a cushy white collar job and playing video games to unsubscribe from his co…
Data breach raises concerns that someone now knows how stupid your passwords are
TORONTO – A recent data breach has compromised the privacy of roughly 100,000 Canadians, leaving many folks concerned that someone, somewhere is judging their choice of passwords. “Trying t…
