TORONTO – Several reports have confirmed that the guy wearing dark sunglasses is absolutely looking directly at you right now.
“I’m sure it only seems like he is staring at me,” you said like an idiot.
Sources have confirmed that, despite your hopes that his eyes were actually casually moving around underneath the tinted lenses, in fact they were locked in on your essence with a laser-like intensity.
“Oh yeah, I’m totally staring at you,” said the man who often glares at people with total immunity behind his pitch black Ray-Bans. “And I saw you pick your nose earlier when you thought nobody was watching.”
“Creepy? Not at all. It’s about feeling a power unmatched by mortal man,” he added.
At press time, don’t even think about adjusting your underwear. He will see it.
Photo: Flickr / Taken by Mark Vegas CC by 2.0 via http://bit.ly/2bMLQ38
